I’m both busy and sick right now. On 16 July 2008 I have a meeting with specialized doctor at HKL (Hospital Kuala Lumpur).

So sorry for the lack of post these days. Sorry.

Fable “Sick, tired and yet keep on fighting” Fox

Attached is a scanned .pdf file with an example of handwriting. A triangle and an X. File is here:shdua.pdf

What kind of handwriting uses this type of symbol? Book editor shorthand or what?

Thanks?

Fable “Still wondering” Fox

Yes, I haven’t posted for awhile. I’m too busy. That’s all that I can say. I was too busy.

But you know what, this year and next year things are going to be big, big, big!

Fable “Too busy for now” Fox

The translation project? Yes! It’s a go!

Fighting I will!

Fable “Yeehaa!” Fox

I’m going to take a translation course I’m going to take a translation course in order to increase books in my native language. So on this 17th April I’ll be going to Institut Terjemahan Negara Malaysia.

Fable “Keep On Fighting” Fox

Yeah, I know I haven’t post for a long time. I’ve been busy. Anyway, something big is coming…

That’s all

Fable “Keep On Fighting!” Fox

Yesterday I was clinically sick (seriously sick is more like it). Read three rant topic below together to get the overview.
Bye.

Fable “I’m done ranting” Fox

Today finally it happened. After years and years of burning, and three months of flickering, the self - sacrificing - yet - hated - by everyone - candle finally burned out. You get it right folks, the impossible has happened, it burned out.

Shocking isn’t, considering that this candle survived lightning shock, multiple electric shock, years of work without a day rest (or much salary either) and many other things too brutal and/or too personal to mention here.

After two month of paralying tiredness every weekend - I was almost paralyzed at workplace. So I went to the clinic. Actually I supposed to be hospitalized, but I couldn’t afford it.

What, been working even before kindergarden and couldn’t afford to be hospitalized? Ha ha ha. My life is funny - for those who screwed and swindled the money - that is.

Want to explain more, but I’m too tired and burned out. What’s left to explain anyway, nobody ever care or listened anyway.

Well, lights out. Enjoy the darkness. That’s what you people always wanted, isn’t?

Fable “Burned Out” Fox

A famous inventor once said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different result. Ever since I was a kid, everytime I help people, I get used. I help people, I get screwed. I felt like Hang Nadim, thrown to the sea by the people he has helped. This is the story how I coined the term “Hang Nadim Mentality” to explain people who screw people that helped them.

For almost 29 years I expect things to change. It never did. If you ever go to Balai Polis Hulu Kelang, you might be able to do a search on a police report where I have my newly bought computer stolen. So what? You might say. If you go back a day earlier and do a search on my name, you will find something else. I just saved a guy from being beaten / stabbed with a broken bottle by a drunk gangster wanna be.

The story is long and complex, but let say that the PC was stolen by person/s that I have helped every single day for three month straight. And this include I did his work and he get his salary for free. Things never change, isn’t?

I help people and I get screwed. Ever since I can remember.

As an IT/Multimedia person, that PC equal a source of income for me.

Oh, by the way, it happened more than a year and a half ago. And I still has no brand new computer. Not that I want one for free, but I guess even borrowing something like RM 1200 is too much for some people - including a guy whose 50% of his Kembara is MY hard earned money, and won another RM 25,000 out of luck. And so does most other people that I helped.

And you have no idea how some people close to me who heard the story, decide to screw me even more. But I guess that’s life. If you’re a cork (more like a dork?) you get screwed for other people to enjoy the wine.

Lately there is a lot of people going around saying “Help people without asking to be helped back.”

Oh wow. Everytime people say that, I would chip in “says the person who want to be helped but doesn’t want to help back!”

Why? Logically, people who helps have no problem helping people who helped them, so they have no problem saying “help those that helped you.”
So, what kind of people going around saying “help me but I’m not going to help you?”

Unhelpful people. That’s who. It’s a simple logic, isn’t.

By the way, I’m not saying you have to return help quid pro quo, dollar per dollar. But to go around tounting “Help people without asking to be helped back.” sound like you want to brainwash people to help you, and don’t expect you would help them back in return.

On the topic, I’m tired of being insane, so no more helping people I guess. And this include saving lives. You have no idea how cold I can get. But you see, that what happens to a burned out warmth-and-light-giving candle. It’s get cold. Very cold.

Fable “No more Mr. Nice Guy” Fox

I got an MC, the doctor told me to rest. So I guess this is going to be a long rant.

Living in a 3rd world country, it’s normal to see vagrant, crazy people, and mentally unstable people here and there. You can see them sleeping on the sidewalk, rummaging the trash bin, and doing other things.

Ever since I was a kid, I always ask myself what turn them into such condition.

Fast foward 29 years and more than a hundred of psychological and self help book later - now I know, they didn’t ask for that.

They just got screwed by outside factor. People, life, luck. But mostly by people.

When I was still a college student, I saw a woman (maybe in her mid 30 or early 40) rummaging trash can looking for aluminium tin can (as a person who used to collect scrap metal to buy food myself, I know aluminium tin can sold for better price than iron). What interesting is that she wore a tuck-in t-shirt, and a white sport shoe. Since this scene happened on a sunday - I suddenly managed to do the math. She is smart enough to have a job on workday, and yet life is unfair enough for her to still have to collect tin cans on weekends.

The reality of life always hit me straight in the face ever since I was a kid, but more so later in life. For me life is like a minefield. Stand still will got you nowhere but still in one piece, make a step and you’re a dead meat. Always.

I’m always unlucky. Not only when I passed high school, it was a time someone was smart enough to say why sending our student abroad and cost so high per head when we can send them to our local university for much lower cost and able to afford more student? Suddenly the dream of studying at Oregon State University goes up in the air.

Then another smart person say - hey - if everybody want to have a diploma / degree to a point they are willing to sell their land, maybe they will flock to us if we open a college? Private college sprung overnight faster than mushroom in rainy season. With lack of qualified manpower, quality teaching and something like five or six years later, more than 50% were forced to close down, the rest are forced to merge. By then the damage are done. Since diploma and degrees are awarded by the truckload (if the course too hard to pass, current student might tell future student (future client / customer that is) and they might register at other easier to pass college) it’s like everybody and their dog has a diploma / degree.

[Note - if you doesn’t trust me here regarding the quality of teaching and the easiness to pass at certain college, why don’t you read the newly published book “Mad About Malaysia” - I saw one at Popular bookstore near Petaling Street ]

If you pick a rock and throw at someone these day, you can rest assured that particular person has a diploma/degree. And you can also rest assured that particular person doesn’t know anything, or much, about the line they have a diploma / degree in.

Thing are so bad a lot of employer doesn’t want to hire local graduates. I know you might ask “Local? Or only grad from private college?” Well, I mean local. There are horror stories about public university, but it was too sensitive to touch. But it was something involving MLM, Linux OS, sex, lies, drug, politic (the too much and too less of it), the education (the too much and too less of it), breaks-in, source code selling, higher-up with more than 175 reported crime to be investigated (and I doesn’t know what happened to the case) and many other thing.

Things are so bad I once joked “At least if you buy internet fake degree, you only pay small amount of money. If you apply at the wrong place, not only you pay full price, and waste 3 to 4 years of your life, but the degree you get worth as much, if not less.” And trust me, you have no idea where this “wrong places” is.

People in the same industry usually talk to each other. Once words such as “don’t ever hire students from this faculy / university, they doesn’t know anything!” you just been cookie cut, even if you are the different one (by that, you did actually study).

Another rant related to this is here [Bibby Brett on graduates]

In short, it was the time where there are lot’s of jobless graduates. And employers will tell you anything just NOT to hire you.

interviewer : Urm…you only have a Diploma. I suggest you further your studies first.
me : Reading stories about jobless graduates, it seem that you doen’t hire them even if they have a degree.
interviewer : I think we’re done here.

I wasn’t hired for thousands of reason. Wrong skin color, wrong gender, wrong software, wrong place of study, too smart, too stupid, doesn’t know Mandarin, knows too much, not handsome enough (I applied for steward, and I’m tall enough with IETLS of 7.5 mind you!) and many other. Not to mention people who intentionally want to make sure I wasn’t hired so that I would stuck with family business (with other people get most of the money).

Suddenly I end up at carwash. 25 years of hardwork and I ended up pennyless, working at a carwash. Nice. It teach me a lot. One of them is that if a person can use, screw and back stab you - they will. It’s not about will or will not, it about when. This person could include your own family member and close friend, trust me on this.

But that was then. It was history.

Now - 29, penniless and working as a clerk, again I was screwed by most people I know.

I’m too tired and burning out. Working non stop since childhood and didn’t get anything in return is not a nice to live the life. Oh wait, I never get the chance to live the life, too busy working for and helping out other people.

Not everybody want to fail, but for some, life circumstances makes it so.

By the way, did you ever Google how many childs death are caused by poverty each day? Fate says so, and so it happens. Did you care? Of course you care, you donated, right? Right…..oh, nice handphone, btw.

Want to rant more, but I’m really tired. So tired.

Bye.

Fable “I’m too tired” Fox